GOD! I haven't felt this good, this happy, this content, this strong since I was in my last relationship. But I know this time this won't make me worse. I ran over three miles today. Got home. Listened to my dad complain about my new habits. I smiled and went to my room. I know a lot of people don't approve of what I'm doing with my life but I don't care any more. My dad calls t head banging for retards. I call it my redemption. This is my time to make something out of myself. Every day I look in the mirror I used to think nothing but negative thoughts. Now its what do I improve today? How do I make this better?
Every day I learn something new. Everyday I make something better. Its not just left jab, right hook anymore. Its left, right, left, side knee, then big elbow. Every morning I wake I jog. Every afternoon I do ground ju-jitsu or stand up striking. Every night I do weight lifting. I of course have to work around my schedule at work but all this goes out the window when school starts. I'm gonna do very intense training for these two weeks. I'm scheduled to fight at a tournament on the 10th. 25 to 40 fighters in one night. I'll have at least three fights in that one night. But this is my last underground fight. I'm done after that until I can go semi-pro. I'm only doing this last one because I need the money. I can pay off a big piece of my debt and get on with my life. I didn't really mean for my entire school to know that I do these underground fights. But its high school. Hard to keep secrets.
Well thats my rant for the day! I can only say live life! Light it up and let the fire roar! Let it live! Dont hesitate! LIVE! RIOT! LOVE! REVOLT! BE UNDEAD!
lol
Jerod ;p
Sunday, December 28, 2008
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
It's not hiding if I'm truly happy.
HELLO EVERY ONE WHO DOESN'T READ MY BLOG!
Well, I thought I'd check in. Give yah the info. So here it is. I'm relatively good where I'm at. I'm not doing terrible in school, sure theres room for improvement but no big deal. My home life is relatively the same I'm just dealing with it a little better. As for my social life.. yah. I hardly ever go out any more. My friends are all turning against each other and themselves. I should help but how can I do that when they won't listen and only try to self destruct. I do feel some what responsible since this all started happening alittle after my last breakdown, which was a long while ago. Speaking of which I'm doing great mentally, emotionally, and even psychically. I've found a way for myself to focus. Fighting. Its hard to understand. Even for me. I just feel totally relaxed when I'm pushing myself. Sure I originally did it cause I was angry or something like that but now its different. I don't think I'm gonna be doing these underground fights for much longer. Theirs a tournament coming up that will give me enough money to pay back my dad for all the money I owe him. I just have to weight a year before I can go semi-pro. Right now I'm not sure about my future, college, moving out, being an adult. I don't know whats gonna happen and yes that stuff scares the crap out of me but I don't care. Right now all I'm worried about is the now. Could things be better? Yes. But I'm content. And that makes me happy. And last time I checked being happy is a good thing. Even if its an ignorant happy.
What's this? What's this?
There's color everywhere
What's this?
There's white things in the air
What's this?
I can't believe my eyes
I must be dreaming
Wake up, jack, this isn't fair
What's this?
What's this? What's this?
There's something very wrong
What's this?
There are people singing songs
What's this?
The streets are lined with
Little creatures laughing
Everybody seems so happy
Have I possibly gone daffy?
What is this?
What's this?
There are children throwing snowballs here
instead of throwing heads
They're busy building toys
And absolutely no one's dead
There's frost on every window
Oh, I can't believe my eyes
And in my bones I feel the warmth
That's coming from inside
Oh, look
What's this?
They're hanging mistletoe, they kiss
Why that looks so unique, inspired
They're gathering around to hear a story
Roasting chestnuts on a fire
What's this?
What's this?
In here they've got a little tree, how queer
And who would ever think
And why?
They're covering it with tiny little things
They've got electric lights on strings
And there's a smile on everyone
So, now, correct me if I'm wrong
This looks like fun
This looks like fun
Oh, could it be I got my wish?
What's this?
Oh my, what now?
The children are asleep
But look, there's nothing underneath
No ghouls, no witches here to scream and scare them
Or ensnare them, only little cozy things
Secure inside their dreamland
What's this?
The monsters are all missing
And the nightmares can't be found
And in their place there seems to be
Good feeling all around
Instead of screams, I swear
I can hear music in the air
The smell of cakes and pies
Is absolutely everywhere
The sights, the sounds
They're everywhere and all around
I've never felt so good before
This empty place inside of me is filling up
I simply cannot get enough
I want it, oh, I want it
Oh, I want it for my own
I've got to know
I've got to know
What is this place that I have found?
What is this?
Christmas Town, hmm...
~!JEROD!~
Well, I thought I'd check in. Give yah the info. So here it is. I'm relatively good where I'm at. I'm not doing terrible in school, sure theres room for improvement but no big deal. My home life is relatively the same I'm just dealing with it a little better. As for my social life.. yah. I hardly ever go out any more. My friends are all turning against each other and themselves. I should help but how can I do that when they won't listen and only try to self destruct. I do feel some what responsible since this all started happening alittle after my last breakdown, which was a long while ago. Speaking of which I'm doing great mentally, emotionally, and even psychically. I've found a way for myself to focus. Fighting. Its hard to understand. Even for me. I just feel totally relaxed when I'm pushing myself. Sure I originally did it cause I was angry or something like that but now its different. I don't think I'm gonna be doing these underground fights for much longer. Theirs a tournament coming up that will give me enough money to pay back my dad for all the money I owe him. I just have to weight a year before I can go semi-pro. Right now I'm not sure about my future, college, moving out, being an adult. I don't know whats gonna happen and yes that stuff scares the crap out of me but I don't care. Right now all I'm worried about is the now. Could things be better? Yes. But I'm content. And that makes me happy. And last time I checked being happy is a good thing. Even if its an ignorant happy.
What's this? What's this?
There's color everywhere
What's this?
There's white things in the air
What's this?
I can't believe my eyes
I must be dreaming
Wake up, jack, this isn't fair
What's this?
What's this? What's this?
There's something very wrong
What's this?
There are people singing songs
What's this?
The streets are lined with
Little creatures laughing
Everybody seems so happy
Have I possibly gone daffy?
What is this?
What's this?
There are children throwing snowballs here
instead of throwing heads
They're busy building toys
And absolutely no one's dead
There's frost on every window
Oh, I can't believe my eyes
And in my bones I feel the warmth
That's coming from inside
Oh, look
What's this?
They're hanging mistletoe, they kiss
Why that looks so unique, inspired
They're gathering around to hear a story
Roasting chestnuts on a fire
What's this?
What's this?
In here they've got a little tree, how queer
And who would ever think
And why?
They're covering it with tiny little things
They've got electric lights on strings
And there's a smile on everyone
So, now, correct me if I'm wrong
This looks like fun
This looks like fun
Oh, could it be I got my wish?
What's this?
Oh my, what now?
The children are asleep
But look, there's nothing underneath
No ghouls, no witches here to scream and scare them
Or ensnare them, only little cozy things
Secure inside their dreamland
What's this?
The monsters are all missing
And the nightmares can't be found
And in their place there seems to be
Good feeling all around
Instead of screams, I swear
I can hear music in the air
The smell of cakes and pies
Is absolutely everywhere
The sights, the sounds
They're everywhere and all around
I've never felt so good before
This empty place inside of me is filling up
I simply cannot get enough
I want it, oh, I want it
Oh, I want it for my own
I've got to know
I've got to know
What is this place that I have found?
What is this?
Christmas Town, hmm...
~!JEROD!~
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