The few times I've ever had something to look forward to have always been a lie or just a silly hope. I keep going day by day acting the same. Like it's alright. I'm sick of it. Its like some damn infection spreading from one diseased filled limb to another. I'm done with this life. Theres been a whole shit ton going on with me and I'm ready to just blow it all away. I'm not gonna hope and pray anymore. I'm going to go out there and take what ever the hell I damn please. I'm not leaving my life in the hands of my father, the people around me, fate, or even god himself. Does it sound like I'm going insane? It should because thats the way I want it. I don't want to understand anymre. I'm going to make myself better by breaking down. Sounds stupid doesn't it? I've heard the rumors and the whispers. People taking about me. Like their worried about me. If their so worried then come to me. Don't just gossip about. And as for the people who I've heard taking trash about me? I've got the same recommendation to you. Come to me. Face to face.
I love it! Every second of it! Is it worth the money? No. Is it worth the respect? No.. Maybe a little.. Is it worth the people coming up to me and asking if they can fight? Only after their knocked out. I'll tell you whats its worth. THose few moments where there is only me and my enemy. It doesn't matter whether I lose or win. All that matters is that feeling of invincibility. Of immortality. I don't matter any where else. School? Yeah right. My family? When was the last time one of us said 'I love you' and meant it? But when I'm in the ring and the crowed yells out for Jerod the Two Ton Hitter.. I can't even explain it. When I throw that punch I am alive. I am somebody..
Sounds sick and twisted right? It is. But god help me I love it. I guess the only reason I'm writing this is to come to terms with myself. Well, heres to me.
Cheers!
X*XJerodX*X
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