Limericks

There once was a limerick that packed humor anatomical
Into space that is rather economical
But the better ones I have seen
Are so rarely are clean
And the clean ones so seldom are comical.

I tried to come up with a ditty
That was clever, appropriate, and still witty
But my failure was utter
Guess my mind's in the gutter
Every one I thought of was rather gitty.

There was a bather whose clothing was strewed
By winds that left her quite nude
She saw a man come along
And unless I am in the wrong
You expected this line to be rather lewd.

I want a poem that is quick
Something easy is the trick
So I think that I
Will have my first try
Maybe then I can impress some lovely chick

There once was a young man Sally knew slightly
He persisted in calling nightly
To inquire if she
Would ever be free
To come over and tie him up tightly

I once had an exceedingly fat friend of mine,
When asked at what hour he'd dine,
Replied, "At eleven,
At three, five, and seven,
And eight and a quarter past nine.

There once was a rather smelly homeless man from Nantucket
Who carried aroud a bucket
No one knew as to why
When ever they asked he gave the same reply
If I am ever in the need to go then I have some where to put it.

On the back of the barmaid in Sale
Were tatooed the prices of ale
And on her behind,
For the sake of the blind,
Was the same information in braille.

I have seen many a sight
That would give any one a fright
And to think what I've done
With the crack of a gun
Makes me glad that its nearly night.